


One Kiss

by lockheart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Possible Character Death, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2524577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockheart/pseuds/lockheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco messes up. Can he fix things before it is too late? What does Lucius have to do with all this? What is the importance of one kiss?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One kiss

One kiss

I remember being happy though now it seems so long ago. It has always seemed strange to me that my happiness would both begin and end with a single kiss.  
*~*~*  
It was near the end of Seventh year that Dumbledore decided I needed a little help in Potions in order to pass my newts. Since Snape had sworn after the occlumency lessons to never tutor me in anything ever again, he sent his best student, Draco Malfoy to tutor me. It was during our second tutoring session that it happened.

Malfoy had been trying for the last fifteen minutes to explain the difference between two extremely similar potions ingredients when it happened.  
“Dammit Potter. You better be glad you’re cute because I think you may be even dumber than Crabbe.” Malfoy finally spat.

I looked at him shocked a moment before asking, “You think I’m cute?” The blush on his face was answer enough for me.  
“You think I’m cute. ” I said smugly.  
“Well I’m not blind, Potter,” he retorted.  
“You think I’m cute. ” I said again.  
“Dammit Potter shut your mouth,” He snarled.  
“Make me,” I replied smugly. The next thing I knew Malfoy had plastered his lips to mine and was kissing me with the same smug ferociousness with which he did everything. It took a moment for me to get over the shock but when I did I sank into the kiss and savored the feel of Draco’s lips on mine. I readily opened my mouth to the silky tongue that had uttered such horrible insults at me and my friends. Draco knew how to kiss his tongue wrestling with mine was one of the most erotic things I’d ever felt.

When he finally pulled away to catch his breath I felt cold at the lost contact.  
“Potter,” he panted.  
“Harry,” I interrupted, “I think since you just snogged me it would be okay for you to call me by my first name. ”  
Draco looked at me shocked before nodding, “Harry,” he repeated, “you can call me Draco.”  
“Draco,” I tested the name that I had only ever used in my most secret thoughts.  
After that we talked things out. Draco told me about his feelings for me and I confessed mine.

That was the beginning of the happiest time in my life and that’s when our relationship started. It was just a few days later that I gave my virginity up to Draco Malfoy, my childhood rival. We came out to our friends a little after that. Hermione and Ron were more excepting than I thought as were the teachers but the Slytherins abandoned Draco. Thankfully most of the Gryffindors begrudgingly accepted him into their lives and into our little circle.

After graduation we got a flat together and that was when things really progressed.


	2. Leads to Another

I wish I had known what would happen before we moved in together, but I doubt I would have changed anything even if it would spare me pain.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“We’re home,” Draco whispered as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I looked back into his eyes and couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Yes,” I whispered my eyes tearing up, “home.”  
It always seemed to amaze Draco how simple words like home and family could affect me so profoundly.

Those first few days in our flat were spent making love in every room, and planning our life together. We were so in love and sure that we would always be together. It seems so silly that we were so naive. I loved him so much and I think at first that he did love me back.

I can’t believe how innocent something life changing can seem. It was the day before our two-year anniversary when Lucius was released from Azkaban. That day Draco went to meet his father at the gates of the prison. I spent all morning cleaning up the flat to prepare for the arrival of my boyfriend’s father.

I wonder if I would have tried so hard if I knew how things were going to turn out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Merlin how the hell did this table get so stained? Oh right Ron was over. Stupid Ron….. always spilling things….. so clumsy…..” Harry mumbled over and over as he scrubbed the kitchen table for the 100th time in the last 4 hours. Just as Harry was starting to make real progress he heard voices outside the door. “Shit!” Harry grabbed his wand and conjured a table cloth to cover the evil stain. He then banished the muggle cleaning supplies to the cupboard under the sink. Harry loved doing things the muggle way. It made him feel better if he knew he was putting in some effort.

Just as Harry was straightening the table cloth Draco and Lucius walked in. Draco walked up to Harry and gave him a gentle kiss. Harry looked from Draco to Lucius and smiled. “Welcome to our home Mr. Malfoy it is a pleasure to have you.” Lucius looked Harry up and down his face impassive.

“Potter,” Lucius said in lull of a greeting.

“Father,” Draco admonished.

“My apologies. Mr. Potter, thank you for welcoming me into your….home.” Lucius said the word home in such a disdainful manner it made Harry blush in shame.

It was Draco who broke the tension. “Harry I offered father a place to stay until the ministry releases the manor back to him. It should take about a week two at the most. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of coarse not Draco, I think having your father stay with us will be a wonderful opportunity for me and him to talk.” Harry tried his best to sound sincere, but he was still very uncomfortable with Lucius.

Draco broke Harry from his thoughts. “Great! Father let me show you to the guest room so you can get settled before dinner.” Lucius cast one last distasteful look around the kitchen before following Draco out. Harry walked to the oven and checked the food to make sure everything was done. He had spent all day making a wonderful four coarse meal. After making sure the chicken manicotti was absolutely perfect he walked over and set the table. He was about to go call Draco to the dinner table when he saw Lucius watching him from the doorway.

“Draco went to take a shower.” Lucius said stepping closer to Harry. “I thought we could take this time to talk. You are….seeing…..my son after all.” The word ‘seeing’ was spoken as if it actually made him sick to say it. “Potter I am going to be up front with you. I don’t like you and I do not want this ‘thing’ between you and Draco to continue. You are tainting him. Draco is a Malfoy, a pureblood, he does not need a halfblood like you ruining him. I am giving you this one opportunity. Leave my son alone. If you break it off now I will forget this ever happened. If however you insist on continuing this thing I will be forced to take extreme measures to insure that the Malfoy name remains intact. I was the Dark Lord’s most trusted for a reason.” During this speech the elder Malfoy was moving closer and closer to Harry. Lucius leaned over and whispered in Harry’s ear, “I can make your life hell. Think about it.” Lucius stepped away as they heard a noise at the door.

“Draco,” Lucius greeted, “I was just getting to know your young Mr. Potter a little better.” Harry started to protest this claim when he saw the hope in Draco’s eyes.  
“Yeah Drake me and your father were just talking about our relationship and how we got together.” Harry managed to plaster a convincing smile on his face. “Shall we,” he said walking over to the table, avoiding eye contact with Lucius. It was going to be a long week.


	3. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes change from past to present

As you can imagine dinner was ‘tense’ to say the least. Conversation flowed rather smoothly between Draco and his father. My contribution was a quiet yes or no when asked a direct question, but looking back part of me wishes that that dinner could have lasted forever because my hell started as soon as it ended.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco kept looking at Harry suspiciously. Finally, dinner ended and Draco showed Lucius to his room while Harry made his way to their bedroom. Harry just sat on the bed feeling numb. His mind was racing and he kept replaying his earlier conversation with Lucius. "I will be forced to take extreme measures to insure that the Malfoy name remains intact." What could that mean? As Harry was contemplating this Draco entered looking upset. Draco walked around the bed laying out a set of silk pajama pants. Draco went about his normal routine as Harry sat on the bed staring off into space.

"You could have tried," the words were spoken so suddenly they startled Harry out of his musings.  
"Huh?" was all Harry could say.  
"I know you don't like him but he is my father, Harry. You could at least try to get along with him."  
"Draco, It's not like that. He was...." Harry couldn't do it. He knew Draco respected his father and that the knowledge of what Lucius had said earlier would hurt him. "I'll try harder Draco, for you."  
"I know that he isn't exactly thrilled about our relationship but neither were our friends at first. I am sure when he gets to know you he will understand what a wonderful person you are."  
Draco kissed him then lay down and went to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~END*~*~*~*~*~*~

I didn't sleep at all that night. In fact I am not sure I have slept since that night. I remember staring at Draco that night and wondering if what he had said about Lucius could possibly be true. I think I was naive for thinking it was. I think that was the last night I ever saw Draco Malfoy sleeping peacefully.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been three days since Draco had invited Lucius Malfoy into the home he shared with Harry. Harry was sitting at the table that morning eating cold cereal when Draco and Lucius walked in. "Morning Harry, what's for breakfast?" Draco asked.  
"Whatever you and Lucius make for yourselves. I am having cereal." Lucius sneered at Harry's reply.  
"A Malfoy does not make his own breakfast," Lucius told Harry.  
"Well then I guess a Malfoy won't eat." Lucius was about to reply when Draco grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him into the living room to talk.  
"Harry, would it kill you to be civil to him." Draco said as soon as the door closed behind them. "All you had to do was make breakfast. You cook for me all the time. I wish you could show the same courtesy to my father. Really Harry, it won't kill you to fix us breakfast."  
Harry could not believe what he was hearing. "I am not a house elf, Draco. I cook for you because I love you. I enjoy knowing that you appreciate what I do around here for you. I don't want to have to do something for you or Lucius."  
"Harry, I don't see why you can't try to get along with my father. I don't understand why you are always so cold to him. The least you could do to make up for your behavior is to make him breakfast. I promise it won't become a habit."  
"Ok, but I won't do this every morning."  
"I love you Harry. Thank you for doing this for me." Draco gave Harry a slow sweet kiss before walking swiftly back to the kitchen to apologize to his father for Harry's earlier behavior. When Harry returned to the kitchen Lucius told him what he would like for breakfast and turned back to his conversation with Draco ignoring Harry as he washed out his cereal bowl before starting breakfast for the other two men.

When Draco promised that cooking for Lucius would not become a habit he was wrong. Every morning Harry would wake up make himself a small breakfast usually toast or cereal since he did not really like breakfast. Then Draco and Lucius would walk in and Lucius would tell Harry what he wanted for breakfast before sitting down to read the newspaper. Harry would start to tell Lucius were to go when Draco would look at him with such sadness over the fact that Harry could not get along with Lucius that Harry would make Lucius his breakfast. The arguments between Harry and Draco had gotten to the point where Harry was sleeping on the couch in their sitting room. Every night Harry would talk to Draco they would almost always get in to an argument and then Draco would kiss Harry goodnight before going into what was once their bedroom. Harry tried to only go to sleep after Lucius had already retired for the night and he was always the first to get up but still Harry could tell that Lucius was aware of the new sleeping arrangement. For the first time since Draco and he had moved in, their home felt like an empty house to Harry. In Harry's mind he may as well have been at the Dursley's house for his role in each home had become the same. Harry could not miss the look of joy on Lucius usually impassive face as Harry and Draco grew further apart.

Every morning Harry resolved to tell Draco of the snide comments Lucius made to Harry when Draco was not there, and every morning he would see how happy Draco seemed over the presence of his father and he would chicken out. Lucius was becoming increasingly nastier to Harry when the two of them were left alone and Harry was feeling more and more like the little boy he once was. He wondered vaguely if Draco would make him sleep in a cupboard if Lucius asked him to. Draco hung onto every word his father spoke as if it was spoken by Merlin himself. Draco was so busy mending his relationship with his father that he did not see what was happening to his lover. Each day that passed Harry became more and more withdrawn as Lucius used every possible means to make Harry look bad in the eyes of Draco. One morning Lucius deliberately taunted Harry until Harry could take no more. Draco walked into the sitting room to find Lucius sitting on the floor with a busted lip while harry held his wand at the man in one hand while his other hand was curled into a tight fist that had obviously caused the damage to the face of the Malfoy patriarch. When Harry tried to explain Draco would hear none of it. All he saw was that his lover had just physically assaulted his father. There was no justification in his eyes and when Harry told Draco that Lucius had been rude and taunted him into the fight Draco had dismissed his claim listening instead to his father who maintained that it happened over a misunderstanding. Lucius even went so far as to tell Draco not to be upset with Harry because "what could one expect from a hot headed Gryffindor." That was the day Draco stopped kissing Harry goodnight. That night after Draco left the study, Harry lay down on the couch clutching his pillow close to him and he cried. For the first time since he defeated the Dark Lord Harry Potter wept in anguish.


	4. Broken and Mending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes change from past to present

I could feel my life falling apart. I knew I was breaking but a part of me thought that when Lucius went back to the manor things would go back to normal. I was wrong. So wrong.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry packed Lucius belongings into a large trunk. Lucius was finally leaving the Ministry had finally released the manor back into his possession. When Harry levitated the trunk over to the floo he was sure that today would be the end of the tension between him and Draco.  
"Harry, I am going to go with father to the manor to make sure everything is in order. Would you like to come?" Draco's question caught him off guard. Lucius sneered at Harry behind his son's back.  
"N-no thank you, Draco. I think I should stay here. I need to clean...um...the house." Harry pulled on the skin of his hand nervously. Lucius sneered at Harry again before addressing Draco.  
"Let him stay here. He is obviously uncomfortable coming to the manor. I would hate to agitate him you know how....violent he gets when he is upset."  
"Yes father. Please go ahead to the manor so I may speak to Harry." Lucius shrunk the trunk that contained his belongings and proceeded to put it into his pocket before disappearing into the floo.  
"Draco?" Harry asked unsure of himself.  
"Harry," Draco's tone was cold, "I don't know why you are being like this. You won't try to get along with my father you have assaulted him and insulted him on several occasions. Do I mean so little to you that you won't even try?"  
"Draco I-" Harry started.  
"I am tired of your excuses!" it was the first time since they got together that Draco had raised his voice to Harry. Draco ran a hand through his hair. "Just do what ever you want to Harry. Stay here and clean. I just don't care. I think I will stay at the manor tonight. Don't wait up."  
With that Draco turned and walked into the floo. As soon as he was gone Harry collapsed, sobs broke from his chest as he stared at the empty fireplace. He was broken. His heart hurt. He felt like he would die. In that moment he was sure that this was the worst he could ever possibly feel.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~END*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco was barely ever home after that. Everyday, I would spend the whole day cleaning and cooking. I don't know why I cooked Draco hardly ever came home for meals. He came back long enough to change clothes then left and went back to the manor. I couldn't bring myself to eat I didn't sleep and I knew I was loosing my mind. Then about a week and a half after Lucius left something happened to give me new hope in my relationship with Draco.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry was on his hands and knees scrubbing the already clean tile floor of his kitchen when Draco came in.  
"Harry?" Draco asked unsure if the waif in front of him was truly his Harry. Startled Harry looked up causing Draco to gasp. The figure before him was undoubtedly Harry. A lightening bolt shaped scar stood out on the pale sallow skin of his head. Harry's once beautiful green eyes were set in a sunken face and they were red and bloodshot.  
"Draco!" Harry exclaimed sitting up on his knees. "I'll get started on dinner right away. I am so sorry it isn't done yet but I just can't stand how filthy this floor is." Harry looked at the already immaculate floor. “I’ll finish it later."  
It wasn't until harry went to wipe his hands on his shirt that Draco noticed that they were badly chapped and bleeding. Draco dropped to his knees on the still wet floor grabbing Harry's hands to look at them. “What happened Harry?" Draco asked while wrapping dish towels around the bleeding appendages.  
"It's nothing Draco. I'm fine," Harry pulled his hands away from Draco and rose to his feet. "They are fine really." Harry picked up his wand that was lying on the counter and waved it muttering a healing spell to repair his hands. "See all better. Now, What would you like for dinner? I was planning to make Chicken Alfredo but if you'd rather have something else tell me and i will get right on it." As he spoke Harry moved over to the sink washing his hands and banishing the ruined dish towels.  
"I don't want anything to eat," Draco said while standing up and moving over to Harry.  
"Oh," Harry said dejectedly, hanging his head trying to keep the tears from falling.  
"Harry, look at me?" Draco asked sweetly lifting Harry's face up to look in his eyes, "Can we just talk? Please," Draco ran his thumb right below Harry's eyes wiping away the slowly falling tears.  
"Okay," Harry whispered. He then allowed Draco to pull him into the sitting room and over to the couch that had served as Harry's bed for so long.  
"I miss you Harry. I miss you so much." Draco's voice wavered. "I love you. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you but I was just so angry. I needed some space. But I am back now. I promise to spend as much time with you as I can. I just want things to go back to how they were before." Draco smiled sweetly and leaned over capturing Harry's lips in a soft kiss. The kiss was wet Harry's tears got onto Draco's face and his lips when he kissed Harry's cheeks. "Please stop crying. I love you you are my beautiful perfect Harry. Please baby don't cry. I am here."  
"I was so scared," Harry gasped out, "I thought you didn't love me anymore."  
"Shhh I will always love you Harry no matter what. You are my soul mate." Draco kissed him again this time he put all his love into the kiss.  
"Drake will you....will you make...make love to me. Please, I need to feel whole again I need to know that you still want and love me."  
"Oh Harry I will make love to you everyday for the rest of our lives if you want me to." This time it was Harry who initiated the kiss. It was deeper but no less sweet. Lips moved together as tongues danced. Draco quickly took over the kiss pushing Harry onto his back on the couch and crawling on top of his prostrate lover. Draco dropped his lips to Harry's neck sucking gently on the skin there.  
"Stop," Harry gasped out. Draco pulled back immediately.  
"What's wrong?" Draco asked worriedly.  
"I don't want to.....here. Can we go to the bedroom? I want you to make love to me on your bed."  
"Our bed Harry. It is our bed and I would love to. Let's go." Draco stood up adjusting his erection before he pulled Harry to his feet. He kissed him again before grabbing his hand and walking with him to the bedroom.


	5. Show Me You Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes change from past to present

Thinking back now it is sad that it took so little from him for me to just accept him back into my life. I sometimes wish that day never happened, but a part of me will always cherish our last time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco held Harry's hand the whole way up to their room. The minute they stepped inside Draco pulled Harry gently to him and began kissing him slowly.  
Draco pulled away from Harry's lips long enough to gasp out, "Merlin Harry, I have missed this so much." Draco thrust his hips forward pushing his erection against Harry's. Harry let out a gasp as Draco began circling his hips slowly while nibbling on his neck.  
"Draco, Please I need you."  
"Anything for you my Harry." Draco kissed Harry one more time before moving away.  
"Draco.....what ar...." Harry trailed off as Draco started unbuttoning his robes.  
"Sit down Harry. I want you to watch me." Draco dropped his robe to the ground and started working on his shirt. Draco slowly undid the buttons on his shirt then let the silk garment slide down his arms exposing himself to Harry. Draco stroked himself through his pants.  
"See what you do to me Harry. You make me so hard." Draco moved his hand slowly up to the buttons on his pants. Draco undid the first two buttons his eyes never leaving Harry's. "How do you want this?" Draco said with his finger poised over the next button. "Do you want me to take you slow and sweet driving you to the peak of ecstasy before I finally let you slip and fall or do you want it hard and fast me pounding into you showing you how I feel about you while you squirm on the end of my cock."  
"Merlin, yes" Harry gasped out panting from the sheer sensuality of the blond.  
"Yes what? Which one Harry?" Draco smiled as he finished removing his pants.  
"Both," the green eyed man gasped.  
"As you wish." As soon as the words left his mouth Draco was on top of Harry taking his mouth as he removed Harry's jumper.  
Soon Harry lay naked under an equally naked Draco. Draco rubbed himself against Harry, the whole time staring into his beautiful green eyes. Draco tried to ignore that Harry was underweight his ribs sticking out in sharp contrast to the rest of his body. "I love you" he whispered before moving his head down to suck and lick Harry's neck.  
Harry moaned at the feel of Draco against him. It had been so long since they had been intimate like this.  
Draco trailed his lips down and latched onto one of Harry's nipples. He bit down on it softly causing his lover to buck up and moan. The blonde leaned up to take the green eyed boys lips. After a few minutes of heated kissing he leaned down trailing his lips down Harry's torso then finally engulfing the throbbing erection standing proudly in a patch of dark coarse hair. Draco moaned around his mouthful as he slowly reached down with one finger and started stroking Harry's tight little hole. "It's been so long," the brunette gasped as Draco removed his finger and brought it up to Harry's lips.  
Harry latched onto the digit sucking hard. Draco pulled his hand back and started teasing the rosebud he was so eager to breach.  
“Come on. Open up for me,” the blonde whispered. The dark haired man took a deep breath relaxing his anal muscles. He gasped as the finger breached his entrance.  
“You are always so tight,” the blonde said thrusting his finger into the tight channel. Draco pulled his finger out of his lover before reaching over to open the bed side table drawer; he grabbed the lube inside before sitting up on the bed and staring down at Harry. “Baby will you suck me while I get you ready?” Harry nodded his head, smiling at the man he loved.  
They got into a position so that they would both be comfortable while performing their assigned task. Draco was sitting in the middle of the bed with Harry kneeling over him taking the man’s cock into his mouth. Harry’s body was arranged so that Draco had easy access to his hole. The blue eyed man took advantage of this by quickly slicking his fingers with the lube before slowly inserting them one at a time into his lover. When Draco hit that certain spot inside of him Harry humped back onto the finger harshly while moaning around the erection that was filling his mouth. Draco made the shaky moan that Harry loved so much, the sound that only he could illicit from the stoic blonde. “Merlin, Harry,” was moaned through tight lips. Harry smiled around his mouthful as he started playing with the slit at the top of the man’s penis. He dipped his tongue in over and over again knowing just the right way to drive his lover crazy. He started slowly sucking on his lover’s cock as he bobbed his head to match the tempo of the fingers that were stretching his ass. Draco had managed to get three of his fingers inside of his lover, the whole time he kept letting out those soft moans that drove his green eyed lover crazy. He finally grabbed Harry’s hair pulling the man off of his erection. The man pouted at having his treat taken away wondering why he was stopped.  
“Sorry baby, but if you keep that up I will never make it inside of you.” Draco slowly pulled his fingers out of his lover. He flipped Harry onto his back before locking eyes with the dark haired man. “I love you,” he whispered the words as he slid into the smaller man. Harry bucked his hips trying to get more of the blond inside him. Draco moaned and started thrusting shallowly into the man under him. He angled his hips so that he was constantly hitting the little nub inside of Harry. “Oh Merlin Harry, I can’t last very long it’s been too…. Oh fuck, you are so tight.” Draco’s thrust became wild. “Touch yourself.” The order was gasped out between moans. Harry’s hand slipped down to his cock and he began jerking himself to the same tempo Draco was using. It wasn’t long before Draco was cumming, sending his seed deep into his lover. The pulsing of the blonde inside of Harry caused his own orgasm to erupt from his quivering frame. The two men lay together panting. “I love you, Drake.”  
“I love you to Harry and from now on I am going to show you everyday.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~END*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hate to admit that I believed him but I did. I believed that he loved me and that everything would be great. I was so wrong.


	6. A Kiss of Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes change from past to present  
>  _Words_ Things Written

That last night with him was probably one of the best nights of my life. The fact that it is tainted hurts me more than I can ever express.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Harry woke up alone the next morning, with a note attached to the pillow next to him. He stretched, savoring the slight ache that Draco’s ministrations last night had left him with, before leaning over and reading the note.

 

_Dearest Harry,_

_Good Morning. I was going to wake you before I left but you looked like you needed the sleep. I have gone to the manor. I have to speak with father and get a few things in order. I should be back by dinner. I love you. Try to relax today, you don’t look healthy. If you need anything before I get home floo me._

_Yours always,_

_Draco_

 

Harry smiled at the note it was so sweet of Draco to worry about him. The smile remained on his face as he rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. The hot water felt good against his sore muscles he really hadn’t been taking care of himself. When he got out of the shower he took a moment to look at himself in the bathroom mirror. What Harry saw shocked him. Standing before him in the mirror was an emaciated man, his ribs and collar bones stuck out sharply from his body making him look more like a skeleton than a person and his skin seemed sallow with heavy bags under sunken eyes. “No wonder Draco was shocked when he saw me.”

 

Harry got dressed then went to the kitchen and had a small breakfast. He then proceeded to do all the Daily chores with a spring in his step. Harry had just finished the last bit of house work when he cast a tempus spell and discovered it was almost lunch time. He made his way back to the kitchen and made lunch for him and Draco then carefully packed it all into a basket. He had decided to surprise Draco by taking him lunch at the manor. Maybe they could even have a picnic in the Malfoy gardens. Harry smiled to his self as he put on a traveling robe and grabbed the basket. He continued to smile as he picked up a handful of floo powder and called out his destination.

 

As Harry stepped out of the floo the smile fell from his lips and his heart turned to ice in his chest. Draco, his Draco, the love of his life, was sitting on a couch in the Malfoy private living room with a half naked Blaise Zabini sitting in his lap, kissing him. Draco’s left hand was clasping the back of Blaise’s head. Blaise’s hair was wrapped around his fingers. The blonde’s right hand was stroking Blaise’s back. As Harry watched, Blaise’s hands, which had been on Draco’s shoulders, started rubbing up and down Draco’s chest getting closer and closer to the bulge in the blonde’s pants. Draco was letting out moans like the ones that had escaped his throat just last night as he made love to Harry. At the sound of Draco’s moans Harry dropped the basket he had been carrying, his heart shattering with shock, betrayal and despair. The dull thud of the basket hitting the carpet drew the attention of the two men on the couch. Draco pushed Blaise off of him while cursing, a blush darkening his pale cheeks. Blaise grumbled at the harsh treatment before looking toward Harry and smiling.

 

“It’s not what you think.” Draco pleaded. “Let me explain,”

 

“I told you that you needed to tell him about us Dray.”

 

Blaise’s words felt like someone had cruciod his heart. Harry couldn’t stand to hear anymore as he turned and flooed back to his apartment. As soon as his feet hit the hearth rug he closed his floo connection so no one could follow him or even try to contact him at all. Then Harry slowly sank to his knees before vomiting up what was left of his breakfast from that morning. The events played over and over in his head as he curled up on the rug and sobbed his heart out. He cried because of the betrayal, because Draco had lied to him, because Draco’s love for him had been a lie and finally because no matter how hurt he was he still loved him. Harry cried for what seemed like hours until his body finally gave up and he passed out from sheer exhaustion.

 

When Harry woke up it took him a minute to remember why he was asleep on the hearth rug but when he finally remembered what he had seen his heart clenched painfully. He was surprised to realize he no longer felt sad over the events of early. In fact he felt nothing. It was as if someone had taken him and hollowed him out. He felt empty and dead inside. The only thing he felt was a small physical pain in his chest at the thought of Draco with Blaise.

 

Now that Harry had calmed down he could finally ask himself the questions that had been plaguing his mind. “How could he? I loved him and he betrayed me. I should have known. How long has he been cheating on me? Did he ever really love me? Is it my fault? What did I do wrong? These thoughts raced through Harry’s head until they made him dizzy. Harry sat on the rug for a long time just staring off into space. He was tired, soo tired. Tired down to his very soul. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breath. He just wanted it to end.

Harry knew what he had to do as he slowly managed to stand up and walk over to the desk. He sat in the desk chair and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. 

 

_Ron Hermione,_

_You were right. I should have trusted you. I’ll be going away for awhile…….._

 

“Dammit.”

 

Harry tore up the letter and tried again.

 

_Dear Ron and Hermione,_

_I love you both. Thank you for being such good friends. I should have listened all those years ago when you warned me about Draco. Don’t blame Draco though. I don’t. I just want him to be happy but I can’t be expected to live without him. Don’t ask that of me please. As always, everything I own, everything I love is Draco’s: the flat, my books, my dad’s cloak, everything. The floo will open after...well anyway, I should tell you now. When you got pregnant Hermione I set up an account for Rose, it has about 5000 galleons in it. It should be enough for robes and things for Hogwarts for Rose and any other little Granger-Weasley’s that come a long. I was going to give it to you when she got her acceptance letter but I won’t be there. Kiss her goodbye for me. I love you all so much._

_Goodbye_

_Harry James Potter_

 

‘That was easy.’ Harry thought,‘ almost as easy as making the decision had been. Now here is the hard part .‘ He picked up another piece of parchment and wrote.

 

_Draco,_

_I don’t know how to start this (Harry replayed the scene from earlier again in his head) I love you. I don’t want to but I do. I hope you will be happy with Blaise. He has always been a good friend to you and your father will approve. I don’t hate you. Hell, I don’t even blame you. We were just not meant to be together, I guess. (tears began pouring down his face again)Don’t blame yourself for what happens. I just can’t live without you. This is my decision. I love you. Goodbye._

_Yours Always,_

_Harry James Potter_

 

Harry folded the letters and added the names to them before letting out a shrill whistle. Hedwig flew into the room and perched on his shoulder. The white owl rubbed her head against the tear stained cheek, as Harry tied the letters to her leg. He stroked her head softly. “I love you girl. Take Draco his letter at the manor first and then go to Ron and Hermione. I want you to stay with them they will take care of you. ” Harry patted her head one last time. “Go.”

 

As Hedwig flew off Harry set down to write one last thing. His story. The story of his life with Draco, a story telling how he had felt for the last few months. Harry thought of everything he had been through lately and he started his story with……

 

_I remember being happy though now it seems so long ago. It has always seemed strange to me that my happiness would both begin and end with a single kiss._


	7. Last Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: _Words_ written words
> 
> *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes scene change

_And that is my story . That is how it happened. How the end started. I don’t know when draco stopped loving me. But I know he did love me once. He did. I remember he used to hold me in his arms after we made love and whisper in my ear how our lives would be and how much he loved me. I remember how he would kiss me sweetly right before I fell asleep and then again to wake me up in the morning. I began and ended every day with a kiss from him. It all comes back to that. It all comes back to kisses. One kiss started our relationship. The lack of one kiss started the problems in it. One more kiss to see he didn’t love me anymore and now there is only one kiss left for me. The kiss of death._

 

Harry shut the journal he had been writing in and slowly stood up. He walked over to the couch that had served as his bed for so long. He stared at it dispassionately before moving it aside with a flick of his wand. Underneath the coach concealed by a loose board was a box. Harry opened the box slowly after deactivating the wards surrounding it. Inside set a small potions vial. Harry had bought this particular potion from Knockturn Alley right after the war. Before he and Draco got together when everything seemed too much. He gently picked up the vial of permaneo basium and then glanced once more at ‘his bed’. He contemplated doing it there but decided against it. 

 

Harry walked past the couch into what was once his and Draco’s room.

 

“Our room Harry always.”

 

The memory came to Harry so fast it made him dizzy. Was that really just last night? He lay down on ‘their’ bed remembering how sweet and considerate Draco had been. But then the memory of this morning came flooding back. A single tear fell from his eye at the memory before he looked at th vial in his hand. His hands were slightly unsteady as he uncorked the potion before bringing it to his lips. Harry took a tentative sip before downing the rest of the vial. Almost instantly a numbness began spreading from his stomach. “It is better to die now then live without him.” Was Harry’s final thought before everything went dark and he knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Is Harry really dead? What was going on between Draco and Blaise? Does Draco still love Harry?
> 
> Tune in next time for the answers to these and other exciting questions.
> 
> Also permaneo basium is last kiss in latin. Generic I know but it made me happy.


	8. The Truth Comes Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: _Words_ written words
> 
> *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes scene change

Draco had been trying to floo Harry since “the incident”, but he could not think about that right now, he had to get to Harry and explain. Suddenly Draco was startled by a pecking on the window. He looked up to see Hedwig waiting to get in, a letter tied to her leg.

 

“Harry,” he whispered to himself as he dashed across the room to open the window and take the letter from the agitated bird. He noticed another letter addressed to Ron and Hermione but left it grabbing his letter and walking over to the fire to read it. As soon as he turned the snowy owl flew away out the still open window.

 

Draco tore open the letter reading through it quickly. When he came to the end the letter fell from numb fingers, grey blue eyes clouding with tears as Draco fell to his knees in front of the fire. His heart felt as if it had died in his chest.

 

He had to get to Harry before it was too late. Draco start4ed toward the floo before remembering what Harry said in the letter. Hopefully Harry was too upset to reset the wards, Draco thought as he ran through the manor to the apparation room.

 

“Draco, I need to speak with you.”

 

“Not now Father.” Draco threw over his shoulder as he rushed passed the elder Malfoy.

 

“You will show me due respect in my own home.” Lucius said as he grabbed Draco’s arm holding him immobile.

 

“Sorry Father, but please I have to get to Harry. He is in trouble Father he could already be ...” Draco coughed, choking on the next word.

 

“Good. Maybe when that filthy little half-blood dies you will date a respectable pure-blood.”

 

Draco blinked at his father uncomprehending of that last statement for almost a full minute. Then realization dawned hitting him like a brick wall. “Harry was telling the truth. Every time Harry said you insulted him. Every time he told me not to get my hopes up about you truly accepting him. Every time we fought. It was all you.”

 

“Of course it was me. You think I would allow you to marry a half-blooded Gryffindore? The Malfoy name may not hold the same prestige it once did but we do still have standards.” Lucius sneered at Draco still holding him by the arm. “I had no problem with you fucking the golden boy when I thought you were using him but when I saw the way you looked at him.” Lucius looked as if he was remembering something horrid. “I knew I had to do something to stop this… travesty.”

 

Draco looked at the other man who he once called father. “What about my happiness? Does my happiness really mean so little to you?”

 

Lucius scoffed, “You are blinded by love. Once Potter is dead you will see. After he is gone you will be able to think clearly again Draco. You will realize that he was just a mistake and you will find someone better.”

 

“You are wrong, Lucius. My mistake was listening to you instead of Harry. I can’t believe I let you manipulate me. Were you the one who set that up with Blaize? I knew he wasn’t stupid enough to try something like that on his own. Did you teach him the lust spell or did you just ask him to perform it on me? How did you know Harry would even come to the manor today?”

Lucius smirked at that. “I didn’t. I had originally planned to have a house elf photograph the two of you and then deliver the photos to Mr. Potter anonymously. But this… is so much more… satisfying.”

 

“I have to get him,” Draco said struggling against Lucius hold.

 

“Draco just let the little whore die. You will be much better off.”

 

Before either man knew what had happened Lucius was on the ground a bruise rapidly marring his ivory skin as Draco stood over him fist clenched and teeth grinding. “If you ever come near me or Harry again I will kill you. I swear.” With that Draco turned and ran to the apparition room praying that he was not to late.


	9. Please Don't Leave Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: _Words_ written words
> 
> *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes scene change

Draco had his wand out and was apparating back to his and Harry's home within moments of entering the apparation room of Malfoy Manor. He landed right in front of the front door thanking Merlin he did not splinch himself in his haste. Thankfully Harry had not changed the wards so that the moment Draco touched the door it opened easily.

"HARRY!" he yelled the moment he stepped inside but the house was silent. Draco felt his heart race as he ran first into the kitchen and then into the living room. Draco looked at the couch pushed to the side of the room revealing a hole under the floorboard. "HARRY!" he screamed again. Fear gripped his heart as he ran toward their bedroom.

Draco stumbled to a stop when he entered the bedroom and saw Harry laying on his back on the bed. His head cushioned on Draco's pillow. The blond ran over tears streaming down his face as he sat next to his motionless lover. "Merlin, no," he whispered out as he noticed Harry's chest was still and unmoving. "Please, please, please.." he mumbled over and over as he reached out touching the pale hand of the only man he ever loved.

The still warm hand was clutching a small potion's vial. Draco took it holding it close to his nose and taking a whiff. The potion smelled of lobalug venom . "Permaneo basium," he gasped in realisation. "I may still have time. Hold on Harry please. Don't leave me. Please baby stay with me." Draco turned running to grab the potions case out of the hall closet.

"Please let me have some." he said kneeling again at Harry's side rifling through the various potion's ingredients. "Yes," he cried pulling out the small bottle of Doxy wings. He quickly transfigured a book on the table into a cup before using a quick aguamenti to fill it with water. He blasted it with a heating charm as he poured the container of wings into the cup. He waited a moment for the wings to dissolve before casting a slight cooling charm and holding Harry up so he could pour the antidote into his mouth.

"Come on. Please. I am so sorry. I should have never let it get this bad. Please baby I need you. I love you so much." Draco babbled as he stroked Harry's throat forcing the mixture into his stomach. When the cup was half empty Draco put it to the side laying on the bed holding his lover in his arms as he stroked his silky hair and kissed the side of his head murmuring "I'm sorry." and "I love you." over and over again as tears dripped down his face dropping onto Harry's sunken cheeks. He must of lain there for what felt like days but in reality was only about 5 minutes before he heard it. A shallow breath coming from the man in his arms followed by a slight whimper. Draco felt his heart lurch as the fear gripping him was replaced by joy and hope.

"Harry. Harry. It's me baby. I am here. I've got you."

"Dr...Draco." The word was gasped out.

"Yeah. Yeah it's me."

"This is cruel." Harry said. "Making me say goodbye like this. A cruel cruel dream."

Draco began to reply before noticing that Harry had fallen asleep.

The sobs came then. Deep racking sobs that shook his entire frame as he held the dark haired man who had been hurt so much because of him. He cried because Harry had felt so alone that he had made the choice to end his life. He cried because Harry thought he had succeeded and that Draco was a cruel illusion. He cried because he had believed Lucius over his lover. Lastly he cried because it was all his fault everything and Harry had been the one punished for his mistakes.


	10. Is He Going to Be Okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: _Words_ written words  
>  *~*~*~*~*~*~ Denotes scene change

That is the scene that Ron and Hermione walked in on. Draco sobbing cradling the body of their best friend and at first they were sure that they were too late. "Oh God," Hermione sobbed as she cried while Ron walked over to the bed. "Draco, mate." Ron bit back his own tears, "you need to let him go. Come on. There is nothing we can do." Ron grabbed the blonde's arm trying to pull him away from the 'body' of the former boy who lived. When Draco turned toward him Hermione got a clear look at Harry and gasped. The red head stared at her in confusion as she rushed over to the other side of the bed.

"He's alive," she said in awed relief as she placed her hand over the dark haired man's chest. "He's breathing Ron. He's breathing." The former Gryffindore pulled his hand away from Draco as he looked over to his wife. Seeing the chest rise and fall shallowly he let the tears escape in his relief. "But," Hermione said causing him to look at her face with worry and hesitance, "we need to get him to St. Mungo's to make sure he is okay."

"NO!" Draco exclaimed speaking for the first time since they arrived.

"Draco honey he needs a doctor," Hermione tried to reason with the distraught blonde.

"No," he said again, "you know how much he hates hospitals and he wouldn't want people to know that he... What he tried to do." Draco said tears still pouring down his pale cheeks.

Ron and Hermione had never seen him so upset. "Okay. What are we going to do then? He needs to be seen to make sure he is okay. He is very pale and his breathing seems off."

"Meddyg Doethuriaid." Draco said matter of factly wiping his face and trying to pull himself back together.

"Uh what?" Ron said looking at the blonde as if he thought him completely mental.

"Meddyg Doethuriaid." Draco said again. "He has been my personal mediwizard since I was thirteen." The blonde picked up his wand as he walked over to the small fireplace in the bedroom. He Waved his wand in an intricate pattern re enabling the connection to the floo network. A quick incendio caused a fire to spring to life. "Swyddfa Meddyg" he said as he knelt in front of the fireplace after tossing in a handful of the floo powder kept on the mantle.

"May I help you?" a polite young women asked.

"Hello. Tell Doethuriaid that Draco Malfoy needs him it is an emergency."

"Of course Mr. Malfoy," the woman promptly moved back away from the floo. Her face was soon replaced by that of an elderly man.

"Mr. Malfoy, Gwen said this was an emergency." the old man said with a thick Welsh accent.

"It is Doethuriaid I need you to come through at once." Draco said all business.

"Give me two minutes to grab my bag and I will be right through please keep the connection open for me." That said the man disappeared from the fireplace.

"He is coming," the blonde sounded exhausted as he walked back over to the bed sitting back down next to Harry and clutching his hand tightly.

Ron walked over wrapping his arms around his pregnant wife as they waited anxiously for the arrival of the mediwizard.

They were staring so intently at the green flames that they actually jumped when they flared up and a man in mediwizard robes carrying a leather potions case walked out. He glanced around the room clinically before walking over to the bed. "Who is my patient Mr. Malfoy?" the mediwizard asked curtly. Draco inclined his head toward his sleeping lover. The elderly man nodded. "What happened?" he asked as he opened his bag taking out his wand.

"Poison." Draco said quietly.

The man seemed completely nonplussed as he glanced over at Draco before coming to stand right next to the bed as the two concious members of the golden trio moved to stand by the bedroom door. "Do you know what kind?"

The blonde stared down at the still form next to him before replying. "Permaneo basium. I gave him boiled doxy wing to negate the poison but I don't," Draco stopped sounding choked up "I don't know how long ago he had taken it before I got here but he is breathing."

The Mediwizard nodded. " I need everyone to leave while I run some diagnostic spells." Ron and Hermione turned to go but Draco held on tighter to the hand he was clutching. "Mr. Malfoy, the diagnostic spell will check him physically as well as checking his magic. I fear that if there is another magical core in the room that it will give a false reading which will only cause me to be unable to properly treat the patient."

The blonde nodded and leaned over kissing the sallow forehead before turning and leaving the room shutting the door behind him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco lost track of how long he sat in the living room staring at the hole in the floor that Harry had obviously gotten the poison out of. His mind raced with questions he had no answers to.

How long had the vial of poison been there? Since Lucius arrived? Or was it before that? Since they moved in? How long had Harry had it? Why had he kept it? Did he always expect things to end this way? Where did he even get it? Lobalug venom was heavily restricted. How could Draco let things get to this point? How could he fix this? Would Harry ever forgive him? Would he ever forgive himself? The questions he came back to the most were: Will Harry be okay? and Did I make it in time?

The seconds ticked by each one feeling like an hour to the tense group. Finally after about an hour and a half Doethuriaid came out of the room an apprehensive look on his face. "How is he?" Draco said jumping up from where he was sitting.

The older man cleared his throat before looking directly at the blonde. "Mr. Malfoy may I speak to you privately?"

Hermione looked scared and Ron's face was turning dark red with rage. "No that won't be necessary," Draco replied before Ron could say anything. "They are his family. Whatever it is you can say it in front of them."

The man nodded before replying, "I am sorry Mr. Malfoy but the antidote was not administered in time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meddyg Doethuriaid is a nod to my favorite author who is part Welsh. you should look up what it means in Welsh maybe it will make you giggle as much as it did me.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I have not decided yet if this will have a happy ending.


End file.
